When I first stepped into the world of flexibility training, specifically at Poledance Factory in Amsterdam, I was a man with a simple goal: to improve my flexibility. At 1.95 meters tall and weighing 105 kg, I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy task. What I didn’t expect, was how much this journey would challenge not only my body but also my social expectations in an environment predominantly occupied by women.
The journey begins: From stiff to stretchy
My initial plan was straightforward – attend classes once a week and gradually enhance my flexibility. To say it was tough would be an understatement. My size and weight made every stretch feel like a monumental task. But as with most physical endeavors, consistency is key. I quickly realized that if I wanted to see real progress, once a week wouldn’t cut it. So, I committed to twice-weekly sessions, and after about six months, the results were palpable – my flexibility had improved significantly, both in how I felt and in measurable terms.
For other men considering adding flexibility training to their routine, I can say this: it’s worth the effort. Initially, I balanced this with calisthenics, but as I progressed, I shifted to CrossFit, which complemented the flexibility work.
A man in a woman’s world
One of the most striking aspects of my experience was the gender dynamic. In a room filled with women- 99% to be exact – I was very much the outsider. Initially, the women were surprised to see me there, and the coaches, to their credit, were pleasantly intrigued. However, as time passed, I became more aware of my position as a guest in what was essentially a women’s domain.
This was particularly evident in how I was approached – or rather, how I wasn’t approached. The coaching style was, understandably, firm and often carried a feminist undertone, something you might expect in a city like Amsterdam. I didn’t mind this at all. I’m confident enough in myself to know when I’m genuinely struggling versus when I’m simply being pushed, and there were indeed days when I was struggling.
Despite this, I found that I could communicate well with most of the female coaches. They were professional, supportive, and clear in their instructions, which made the learning process smoother.
The social aspect: An unexpected challenge
Let’s be honest: one of the reasons many men might be drawn to a place like Poledance Factory is the opportunity to meet women. In a room full of fit, motivated individuals, you’d think striking up a conversation would be easy. Yet, to my surprise, it was anything but.
I have no trouble approaching women, but what I didn’t anticipate was how glued to their phones many of them were, even during the workout sessions. It’s baffling to me – smartphones are known to be mentally draining and addictive (here, here, here and here), so why not take an hour to unplug and focus solely on your workout? The common excuse I heard was that they needed to film their movements. Understandable, but the overall dependence on these devices seemed to be stronger than that of a drug like cocaine (again; here, here, here).
Meeting women became even more challenging at the events organized by Poledance Factory. Initially, I was new, and the women didn’t know me, so there was little interaction. But as months went by and I became a familiar face, I expected things to change. They didn’t. Despite being in a room with around 50 women, I found that none would approach me to start a conversation. Given that I was already known to them – because let’s face it, women talk – I found this particularly surprising.
My approach at these events was analytical: Who looks fit? Who might have a partner or children? Who seems uninterested? I assessed the room based on non-verbal communication and made my moves accordingly. Yet, despite being there for months, no one ever made the first move to engage with me. It’s an experience I find quite remarkable, and not in a good way.
Conclusion: Flexibility training – yes; conversations – not so much
All in all, my flexibility journey at Poledance Factory has been a success. Physically, I’ve made great strides, and I can’t recommend it enough to other men, especially those who engage in other sports. However, if you’re looking to have a conversation or meet someone special, you might find it a bit more challenging than expected. It seems that in this women-dominated world, the bar for social interaction is set quite high, and you may find yourself, like me, left waiting for a conversation that never comes.